Confessions and Discoveries.

Confessions:

I don’t feel “called” to personal training or nutrition counseling– I don’t feel like that’s what I’m meant to do with my life. I enjoy it well enough, the extra money is certainly nice, and it’s a great way to keep myself accountable to work out and eat mostly healthy, but I don’t feel particularly passionate about it or as if that’s my life’s calling.

If I could go back and change what I went to school for or where I went to school, but still end up here, with my people, I would. I think there are other things I should have studied or done in college/graduate school that would’ve helped me more with what I’m meant to do. 

From the time I can remember until the year I took college chemistry, I wanted to be an eye doctor.

I want my life to mean something. I want to make a difference.

Discoveries:

What does all of this have in common — wanting to be an eye doctor, working at the Y and personal training, and my current job as a nanny? They all involve helping people, serving others, using my skills and personality and knowledge to build others up and help them become the best version of themselves. I read a book recently that talks about thinking about what you wanted to do and who you were when you were a kid (5, 6, 7, or so, before the world seeped in and made you think you couldn’t be who you were or do what you wanted), and consider what that means about who you are and what you’re meant to do. I wanted to be an eye doctor not because I loved eye balls or wanted to make a ton of money, but because I had a lot of issues with my eyes as a kid and I wanted to help others going through the same thing, I wanted to help make their life better the way my doctor had helped me. Seeing a theme yet? I’m starting to — at 27 years old, I’m starting to see the theme behind all of this.

I feel good about my day when I see a child’s face light up when something finally clicks — the math they’ve been struggling with finally makes sense, they’ve just worked out how to tie their shoes, they’ve figured out how to read that hard word they couldn’t quite get until right then, and so on.

I worked at the Y and have kept personal training because of this same thing — I’m excited when I’ve helped someone with something, that’s when I feel like what I’m doing is worthy and important and right. At the Y and personal training, this is with their physical fitness (and sometimes mental state when they just need someone to talk to). At my current job, it’s the little things that an 8, 6, and 5 year old are learning every day. I want every person I encounter to leave our time or that moment feeling better than they did before. I want to encourage others. I want to pour love into others. 

I’ve discovered that I’m here to serve. To make others’ lives better and easier and to know that they are loved. 

What does this mean moving forward? I’m not totally sure. I have some ideas on where to go from here, but they’re gonna take some time. And a lot of growing — I’m not perfect, by any means. And some of you reading this might go “that’s not the Katie that I know” or “I would never think this would come from her”…in which case, I’m sorry. I hope to show you who I am better in the future. It’s time to get moving! Posts from this point forward will be more focused on this journey and personal growth (mentally, physically, and spiritually) than anything else — helping any readers grow, discover who they are, and be confident in that through sharing my own story and anything I find that’s helped me along, too. 

What did you want to be as a kid? Who were you then, before the world told you you should be something different? When you think about that, does it mesh with who you are or what you do now, did you grow into a better version of that kid, or did the world change you? Reach out. Let me be here for you. Join me on this journey. Let’s become who we’re meant to be, together.

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4 comments

  1. Awesome & honest post! I 100% “get” this feeling. I wanted to be a lot of things over the years with the same underlying goal of helping people and bettering lives. I never even considered becoming a nurse until less than a year before I started my program (I was told I should become a doctor all my life because I was “smart”). Turns out I just care a lot more about the helping people/advocating for patients part and a lot less about proving I’m “smart” by being what others pushed me to be growing up. Also, I know I have a different kind of drive and a different kind of intelligence…and I wish I would have embraced it a lot earlier! 🙂

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    1. Yes! It’s funny how being told you’re “smart” can often times make you feel like a disappointment if you choose a different path than their ideal of “smart.” I’m thankful you’ve embraced it and found your place in nursing — your patients will be lucky to have you!! 🙂

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  2. Discovering your specific purpose in life opens the wonderful opportunity to use what God has given you to serve others in your generation — to fulfill your ultimate purpose and live a significant life. A quote that I remember from several years ago, says, “Service is the pathway to real significance. It is through ministry (serving) that we discover the meaning of our lives.”
    There is no one else like you, which is why your heavenly Father longs for you to discover just how special and unique you are. To live without discovering our uniqueness is to not really live. I think God is heartbroken when his children miss out on the potential he has placed inside of them.
    He will show you the steps to take as you start fulfilling your purpose for life, inspiring you to pursue not a career, but a calling, although, a career could provide the platform to direct your purpose, but it doesn’t define it.
    Katie, I hope you will launch into this discovery process with excitement and anticipation, filled with the confidence that clay or a paintbrush inspires in the hands of a master artist. And remember, great art takes time.
    I am currently teaching a class, “Why God Shaped You the Way He Did.” I would love for you to come to the and speak to group.
    I think you are an amazing young woman with wisdom beyond her years.

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    1. Thank you, Brenda! I’m excited to be on this journey and to see where the Lord takes me. I would be honored to come speak to your class — let’s talk about when it meets and when might be a good day to come!

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